The greatest man to ever live

    Okay, these pictures are of me and my wonderful grandpa. I drew this in art as a surprise for him. The only thing is that he never got to see it. He died February 26, 2013, when no one was home. They think he died in his sleep, which would be the best way, especially since he was always falling asleep. This man's love and tenderness can in no way be portrayed by pictures or even words. He was always so supportive of every single thing I did. Especially my art. He'd always ask when I was gonna draw him something else for his wall. And anytime anyone came in, he'd brag about it. I'm not in any way bragging about my art, and though these aren't the best angles of the pics, you get an idea of how it looks.
     What I'm saying is this: there are only three people in my immediate family that have ever been super supportive of my art (Don't get me wrong, everyone's supportive of it.) But never did more people show it off than him and my parents. I don't know what I'd have done without his support and their continuing support. It's because of them that my skill has developed into what it is today, and why I've chosen to major in Studio Art in college. I only wish he'd lived long enough to see me graduate from high school. Oh, I know he'll still see it, just from above, where I can't hug him until the day I go to be with all my family and friends there.
     My grandpa, or Grumpy, as we called him (something my cousin started even though he was never actually grumpy) was certainly one of a kind. Don't picture a little frail old man, because he wasn't. He was 6 foot tall, and he used to be over 200 pounds. Towards the end of his life, he'd lost about a hundred, because he never wanted to eat anything; nothing sounded good to him. I never realized how drastic the change was until I saw some old pictures of him. But you know the standard "back in my day," stories? He had those. And almost every time we were at his house, he'd ask if we'd seen Lonesome Dove, and almost every time, Shawshank Redemption would be on, and we'd  watch it. Well, as much as a person who constantly falls asleep can watch it, anyway.
     I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything for you. My grandpa wasn't like that, so I won't represent him like he was. He was one of the most real people I've ever met. He'd do anything for anyone, even if it ended up coming back to bite him. Maybe that's why my mom and I  are the same way. When my mom was little, my grandpa worked a lot, so she was home with her brother and mom. When my mom was 16, her mom was murdered. Some time after that, she and my grandpa became so much closer. They'd talk on the phone almost every single night, and would always end by saying 'love you.'
     My mom is a musician,, singer, and songwriter on top of being a social worker and therapist. So in honor of him, she's going to write a song (with my help) called, "Daddy's Calls." Since he will never get to hear her finished CD, and everything she worked on for it, she has even more incentive to finish it. Since he never got to see my drawing, it was on display at his funeral. Since we're doing the headstone pretty soon, I was wanting to look into getting the picture engraved onto it.
    Sorry that I keep jumping back and forth; I'm just typing what comes to me at the time.
     I was his youngest grandchild. By birth anyway. My cousin is with a woman who has twin 6 year olds, a 13 year old, and a baby with him, so Grumpy had another set of grandchildren - well, they'd be his great-grandchildren actually. But as I was saying, I was/am the youngest, and I think the closest to him. So sometime (hopefully) soon, I'm getting a tattoo in honor of him. It's going to be in his handwriting from the last birthday card from him, which wasn't long before he died. He signed it as : "Love you
        Grump"
     So it's going to be on my side by my heart, to always have him close to it. I don't think I'll put everything he wrote on me, because it was this: "to the best granddaughter a grandfather could have," and that would be too much. But that card, and that sentiment pretty much describes our relationship. I'm trying so hard this very second not to burst into tears, knowing he'll never see my Senior pictures, see me graduate, do well in college, or get married. But I know he'll still get to experience it, and he'll be with me every step of the way. And I'll always hold him in my heart.

In three days....

     I will be headed to Arkansas with friends and a little bit of family. See, my friends' grandparents and mom take another friend and myself on vacation every summer for the past several years. But this year will be different. Not only are we going later than we normally do - we usually leave the day school's out- but we're also taking our Senior pictures. Did I mention that her grandparents own and operate a local photography business? And that they're amazing?! Her family is basically like my family. I even call them the same thing she does. As for our other friend, she's just as much family as any of us.
      But because we're getting our pictures taken, my friend's mom and my mom will be going with us, just for a day, to see us get them done, and to spend some time together. Now, before I move on, let me say this: all three of our moms are just as close as the three of us are, and I'm slightly scared of what they'll pull. (Just kidding) So this vacation will be extra special, not only because our moms will all be there, her grandparents, and we're getting pictures done, but also because it's the last time it will happen before we graduate. So, as excited as I am for the trip, it represents something else--the end of high school and the beginning of moving away--and I'm not sure how to feel about that.
      These girls are two of my very best friends, and we'd all do anything for the others. Sure, we fight. But that's because we might as well be sisters, and so we fight the same way. So what's the point here?
      This summer will be one to remember. Big trips, big plans, and big big changes coming up. I couldn't imagine better people to spend it with, or to consider my "chosen" family. So yes, we may grow up, and away from each other. But what we have, this friendship, this bond, will last beyond that. (Or at least I pray it will.) So, I won't be able to put much on here when I'm there, because there's no WiFi. Maybe I'll do a little on my phone. But I promise you, I'll tell you all about it when I get back.
                Ciao loves,
                            XO

Praying for Moore, Oklahoma

     Okay guys, I know my previous posts have been somewhat silly and menial, but this one won't be. As someone who's lived in Oklahoma most of their life, this is very close to my heart. I know you've all heard of the disaster in Moore, Oklahoma and the surrounding towns. Several years ago, it happened in Missouri, and someone I know and love lost part of their house, saved only by hiding under a mattress in the bathroom. It took forever to find out if they were okay, but Praise God, they were. Sadly, many people weren't then and aren't now.
      Some of the cheerleaders from my school are hosting a drive to help victims of the Moore disaster, and I've never been so proud of them. If I can, I'll help them. I just wish I could go to Moore, and help search for people, dig through the rubble, and help make the victims a little bit more comforted. But, I don't think that's going to happen, no matter how much I wish it would. It's in disasters like these that we realize how unimportant material things really are.
    But when things like this happen, it never ceases to amaze me how so many people go to help, or donate, or do anything they can to help. It fills my heart to see so many people helping and praying for Oklahoma, the victims, and the rescuers. Yes, this is tornado season, and we're in tornado alley, but when something with this much destruction occurs, you can almost feel the whole country hurting, reaching out, and praying for everything to work out in the end.
     If you've been keeping up with the news at all, you'll know that many third graders and their teachers were hit, and many are still unaccounted for. I cannot imagine the terror of the parents and loved ones, both of the children and the teachers. There is so much rubble to go through, so many things to dig up, so many places to search, and so many scared, hurt people. If you can't tell yet, my heart is broken for these people, but also filled with joy that so many generous people are there to help. It's a confusing time for many, and I know if I were in that situation, I'd probably be more involved in my grief and despair than being grateful at the moment for everyone's help. So just remember, these people ARE grateful, no matter how they show it. But they're still in shock, and it's going to take a long time for them, Moore, surrounding towns, Oklahoma, and the nation as a whole to recover. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, help, donations, and so much more that you have done. I'm so grateful to live in a nation where people look out for each other in times of trouble.

     Ciao loves,
                XO

It's about time...

     You know how most people look forward to getting their license when they're 16? Yeah, I did. Like most people, I wanted to get my permit when I was of age and then my license on my 16th birthday. Did that happen? No, of course it didn't. Because I am now 17, about to be a senior in high school, and still have my parents carting me around like a little kid in a red wagon. (Literally, Mom's van is red.)
      This is obviously not by my choice, as I'm sure you have figured out. Yes, I bring it up often. Because you know what? It's ridiculous. Every time I bring it up, some sort of fight happens. All I hear is, "You're not ready yet" or "You still need to learn how to do this before you can take your test."
     Great. Fine. Then teach me already. You said it three months ago, and nothing happened. You said it today. Will anything come of it? There's always something. Some reason that it never happens. That I'm never taught the one thing I need to know for the test: Parallel Parking. It doesn't even look difficult, and I know with practice, I can get it down. Only I haven't had a chance because no one will attempt to teach me. What good does it do to say you're going to do something if it never even happens? I hate when promises get broken, when people say they'll do something and it doesn't ever happen.
        See, when my grandpa was still alive, (he died February 26th of this year and I miss him more than I could ever put into words) he'd always say that he'd let me drive his car around his town. I knew he was looking forward to seeing me get my license, because he was always pushing my mom to teach me more. But he died before that could happen. Anyways, I can't even drive my car, because as with everything else, someone else has stored their stuff in there. Technically, some of it is my stuff. However, when we went to Kansas on Saturday, the stuff got moved into my car. And let's not even get started on what's in the trunk other than to say only one thing back there is actually mine.  So now not only do I not get to drive my baby, but it's also storage.
       Okay, so sorry about all that. You agreed to hang along, right? Well, unfortunately, just like anyone else, I have my rants. And you are subjected to them. But if you stick with me through these, I promise there will be many more great things than rants. Thanks so much for lending an ear, or your eyes in this case.
       Ciao loves,
                  XO

The Beginnings...

Hello there friends,
I bet you're wondering what the point of this blog is. Well, I'm not gonna lie...I kind of am too. So join me on this odd, wonderful journey, won't you? So this summer is one of firsts and lasts. Last year of high school, last summer trip with friends before school begins, last year at home. But you know what? I'll miss some of it, but not my school itself. Oh, everyone has problems. The main one at my school? The teachers act like it's so great to parents and compared to other schools, but it's not as good as they make it out to be. So that's why I'm glad it's my last year there.
As for the firsts? Let's see: first time getting super serious about colleges, which means applications, essays, transcripts, the whole headache. But also the first time that I know EXACTLY what I want to do in life, where I want to go, and how to make myself be the person I want to be. First time getting senior pictures made - in only a few days, mind you- and...wait for it...drumroll please...MY FIRST EVER CRUISE! Yes, you heard -er, read- right! I'm going on a cruise this summer as my graduation gift. To make it even better? My mom is paying for one of my best friends to go! Super mom, huh?
We leave from New Orleans on July 28th, and go to Mahogany Bay, Belize, and Cozumel! I'm super excited, seeing as I've never been outside of the country, and I've always wanted to go to the beach. (Which I did when I was little, but all I remember is getting sea water in my face and being afraid something would sting me.)